Welcome to Hopes Gone the blog I started with the aim of opening up about my fears and insecurities, and the hope that I would help you do the same.
HOW IT ALL BEGAN:
After being diagnosed with mental health problems, I felt isolated, alone, and scared. I didn’t know what to do, how to go on. I no longer had a voice. I felt consumed by my emotions, and the illness that I felt was branded across my forehead. Then I decided to do something about it, I decided to embrace and accept myself, illness and all. I spoke out, openly acknowledging my illnesses and problems. My new found openess wasn’t what brought me here though, it was you. Once I came out (so to say), my friends and people I had known for years began to come forward, asking questions and for help. They were going through tough times, similar to me, and they wanted, they needed someone to talk to, and that someone was me. I felt humbled, but also amazed. So many people had been struggling, going about their lives, but living with this hollow feeling inside.
That’s when it hit me, why not start a blog? Talking to my friends and school colleagues had helped me, and I them, so why not create something much larger, that everyone could have access to? And so Hopes Gone was born.
Over time my blog began to evolve, not only in size but also in subject content. It became somewhat like a personal diary, not only sharing my low times, and dealing with my mental health illnesses, but also the other little bits that make me, me: books, music, clothes and all the bits in between.
I live in hope that as I evolve, and my blog evolves I will begin to understand who I am, and become the person I want to be.
WHAT I WISH TO ACHEIVE:
Anne Frank once said: ‘Whoever is happy shall make others happy too’ and that is my main aim, my main wish in life.
I have always wanted to be a house wife, a mother to four boisterous and beautiful kids, a loving wife and the best brownie maker ever! But first I want to become a psychiatrist, or some sort of counsellor. I want to work to raise awareness for mental health issues, study the ins and outs of it, to truly understand why some people are just different. Then, once I have helped as many people as I can, I want to knuckle down, raise my children (I am even sad enough to have all their names picked out already), and give them the best life possible, the life they deserve. And in between? Well I wouldn’t mind getting in a bit of travelling, a bit of living: exploring far flung corners of the globe, extending my collection of beautiful words, oh, and drinking as much hot chocolate as humanely possible.
WHAT MAKES ME TICK:
There are so many things that make up a person, not just the sciency stuff, like muscle and tissue and hair (which if you're like me, is unfortunately rather abundant), but also the life experiences, the favourite places, the fears and the insecurities.
- I am an occupational hazard. I rarely think things through before I do them, and if you have read my '25 Facts About Me' post, then you will know that I have even stuck my hand in a urinal thinking it was a sink.
- I am obsessed with words, quotes and stories. I just think it is amazing how an average word such as wardrobe, can be strung together with thousands of others to create something amazing, a story, a fantasy to escape to (hello, ‘The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe’).
- When I am sad, I often hide in toilet cubicles. Why that is I am not sure.
- I used to want to be a Coyote (like in the film Coyote Ugly, not the dog).
- I have an unhealthy obsession with cake, to the point where I will cry at a good bake.
- I believe there could be a zombie apocalypse, and that I would probably be one of the first to be eaten.
So sit back, grab a slice of cake (had to get cake in there again somehow) and join me on my journey, as I learn who I am, and hopefully help you find yourself too.