Friday, 23 October 2015

Confidence

I think possibly everyone has felt a lack of confidence in their life, a feeling of uncertainty and that worry that you're going to make a fool of yourself. For me, this is a regular concern, be it at university, whilst in a seminar, or even just meeting up with friends I've known for years for a drink.

I've always envied people who could just just walk in, all guns blazing, and charm everyone off their feet. The kids who always volunteered to be on the school council, give a presentation, or be in the school play. To me that was just baffling, and I couldn't see how anyone could have enough balls to do any one of those things.

And I tried and I tried to push myself out there, to audition for the school play, give that presentation, and speak up in seminars, and although I managed to do all of those things, it didn't make me anymore confident It also left me a shaky, ever so sweaty mess.

Recently though, I've realised something, and that is that no one is ever truly confident, even the people who seem it. Everyone gets nervous, most people find public speaking off putting. This revelation hit me when I was about to give a speech on why I should be an editor for my universities newspaper, I'd watched about a dozen people give speeches, some of them great. I'd also heard a couple of people confess their nerves too. But none of this really registered with me until my boyfriend stood up to give a speech, my boyfriend who so effortlessly converses with people, who everyone likes, and who talks in that loud, public school voice and doesn't care who hears. The thing was, he was nervous. He was nervous, just like me. Despite all his confidence in everyday life he was nervous when thirty faces were staring at him and he had to persuade people to vote for him as editor. He was nervous!

This made me happier than it probably should have done (gosh darnnit why does everyone have to like him so much) but it also made me realise that everyone has something they get nervous about. It may only be one thing, but everyones lacking confidence in a certain area of their life, be it their looks, public speaking, or making friends, everyone has something, it just so happens that I have a lot.

This thought reassured me, heck, it reassures me everyday. I now talk in my seminars (and suppress the niggling voice of doubt in the back of my mind). I gave my editors speech (and got the position, even if I was uncontested...). I joined a sports club, by myself, and although I  lack confidence in my sporting ability, my ability to make friends, and my nervous sweating habits, I still go twice a week.

I feel as if I'm gaining confidence all the time, and I wonder whether people notice, if people think of me like I've thought about countless others before me. So my advice to anyone out there who is lacking a bit of confidence, is feeling nervous about a presentation or meeting someone new, is to just remember that everyone is nervous, and their probably just as nervous as you.

I would love to know if anyone else feels they lack a lot of confidence, and what strategies they use to deal with it in the comments below!


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4 comments

  1. I totally agree! I'm so happy to hear you're feeling more confident and congrats on being made editor! I have always lacked confidence too, and it's such a difficult thing to overcome. Sometimes I don't really deal with it tbh, but most of the time I try and think of whatever I'm not confident about,be it a presentation or meeting someone new, as a bit of fun and not important and it helps me to be more rational about it.

    josievictoriaa / fashion, travel and lifestyle

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    1. Thank you Josie, that's a really good idea, I might try that some time. And yeh, I'm feeling slightly more confident, which probably puts me at the same level as someone mildly shy now haha H xx

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  2. It's amazing to hear you're feeling more confident, this is a beautiful post.

    Hannah xx

    thatthoughtfulgirl.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Thank you Hannah, it is certainly making life not only a lot easier, but interesting too! H xx

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