Wednesday, 8 April 2015

Thou Shall't Not Compare

 (Photo credits go to my boyfriend, who took this whilst I wasn't looking)



The 21st century has led us to question everything. Whenever we are on the verge of making a decision, we always question it, wonder if there is something better out there, and then proceed to go search for it. This never ending cycle of questioning, and looking for the best, has lead us to comapre everything; houses, clothes, grades, and even our lives. And when it comes to comparing every aspect of our daily lives, things can get sticky.

Comapring my life to that of others is one of my biggest faults as a person. I am forever comparing how hard I work with that of others, my achievements, and even my relationships and success, which often leads me into despair. No matter how hard I try I just can't seem to help questioning why even though I work harder than that person, they got better grades. Even though I try to do what is right, other, less self sacrificing people have it better. And why, even though I have been in a relationship longer, I know my boyfriend less than others in relationships. Not only does all this questioning lead me into despair, it leads me into the horrible feeling of jealousy, and I begin to come so sour that I dislike myself. What I don't understand is why I feel this need to compare? Why I can't just be happy with my own life, my own achievements, my own relationships.

Comapring yourself to celebrities is one thing, often these comparisons are unreachable and the likelyhood that we will even achieve or have what they have is slim. But when you begin to compare yourself to those around you, to your family, friends and class mates, thats when level headedness and acceptance gets thrown out of the window. My obsessive need to question and compare is beginning to affect my relationships and academic life too. My jealousy is perturbing and upsetting my boyfriend. The questioning of why my hard work isn't yielding the same results as others is causing me to give up, to not work and just say 'What's the point?'. All this has got to stop.

In a consumer and achievement driven society comparing our lives, our successes and our relationships to others is always going to happen, and in some cases, a little bit of competition is good. But when we start scrutinising every little detail of our lives, our successes and our relationships with others, when we start measuring out success against that of our friends and family, that's when it gets dangerous. So from now on I am going to attempt to be proud of myself, acknowledge when I have worked hard, and achieved something that is good for me, no matter what those around me are doing. I am going to stop comparing my relationship and just be happy that I am in it, I have a boyfriend who loves me, and that is amazing in itself, it shouldn't matter what other sprinkles and sparkles other relationships are getting on top. I am Hope, I am happy, and my life, although not perfect, is full and plentiful.
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2 comments

  1. This is a really good post and actually quite appropriate for me at the moment and even though I can acknowledge that comparing is pointless and only hurting myself, I can't help but carry on! It's so great that you have realised this and can stop comparing and be happy, maybe you can give me some tips!

    Josie
    josievictoriaa.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is so hard to stop, even though you know you do it. Haha, it's not going very well so far, but I will let you know how it goes!! H xx

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