Monday, 31 March 2014

Visiting Unis and Battling Shyness




I am curretly at the stage in my life where Universities have made me offers, and I am traipsing around the country visiting them all, trying to decide where I want to spend the next 3-4 years of my life. On these visit days I am always apprehensive, and my anxiety kicks into over drive.

On a recent visit to York I had been on campus soil for just two minutes and I knew I had to get out of their. I could feel the ebs of a panic attack coming on and only a vigurous walk would calm my shakey legs. I made it to the near by village, where I made my Mum hide in the local pub with me, playing dominos until I calmed down. On getting back to the campus, the talks began and parents had to leave their children and again I was greeted by sweaty palms, an over eratic heartbeat and body shaking. Eventually I had to leave before the end of the programmes, I had lasted three hours by myself, but I could feel the water works coming on, and knew it was time to curl up somewhere dark and away from other people.

But how can I battle this shyness? Or sheer panic to be more precise. I want to go away for three years, and live by myself and experience all the new and wonderful experiences that are part of growing up and moving away. But I can't even get past the visit day. I am curently looking for a way of battling my anxiety, and a way to cope with new people and my crippling shyness. Cause I know I can't go three years with no friends.  And  I also can't keep running away when I feel overwhelmed, but I just don't know how.

Are you desperately shy or suffer from anxiety? And if so I would be extremely grateful of any tips you have on how to overcome it? 
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Thursday, 27 March 2014

My Story

Ok, so today's post is slightly more personal, infact it is probably the most personal I am gonna get, so here goes I guess...

Part of the reason that I started blogging was because I was going through a pretty rough time. Ok, scratch that, it was probably one of the worst times of my life to date. At the age of 16 I had been diagnosed with Clinical Depression, anxiety and eating problems (two weeks before my GCSE's, great timing brain). I was having a pretty rough time, and I was always worse during those long summer months, when I was alone a lot of the time. My boyfriend had dumped me because 'he couldn't make me happy' and I had struggled with my GCSEs as I was blacking out and too exhausted from life to revise. I was too scared to open my own laptop (for no apparent reason).

Now being a young person with mental health problems you feel so alone, like you are the only person in the world with this 'black void'. I soon found out this is not true. At all. After feeling alone and tired of keeping my diagnoses a secret I came out so to speak. I told my friends and although I didn't feel better, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. What amazed me was that a few weeks later people came to talk to me, they were going through similar things and needed someone to talk to or wanted advise on what to do. This happened several times and it surprised me to know how many people were going through similar things as me, and how when I felt most alone, I wasn't.

Suffering from mental health problems has made me a stronger person, and made me realise how  lucky I am. I was lucky to have supportive friends who understood that sometimes I will have a panick attack (and leave a gig midway through to help calm me down), or I will have those days where I will just cry and want to be alone. I have parents who payed for my treatment (the NHS is great sometimes, but their Teenage Mental Health System is rubbisho) and a boyfriend who will be there when I have an awful episode and stay up all night just to make sure I am safe and don't hurt myself.

I am still struggling with my illnesses today, but I am much happier, and healthier, and have learnt that even though this bad thing has happened to me I can use my experiences to help others. And the most important thing I learnt is that you are never alone. 1 in 10 teenagers suffer from mental health problems, that is 3 in every class, no matter what horrible feeling anf thoughts you are experiencing you are not a bad person, and you are never ever alone.

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Monday, 24 March 2014

Fashion Favourites #3


How someone can be so effortlessly chic and cool is beyond me, but somehow Suki Waterhouse manages to do it whislt simultaneously looking like she hasn't even tried. The bottom right photo (in my opinion one of her most elegant) was taken at the recent Burberry show, and when I saw it I fell in love with her all over again. Her choppy fringe and tossled blonde locks also create much envy, as does her beau, the ever handsome Mr Bradley Cooper

Image Source (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
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Monday, 17 March 2014

Fashion Favourite #2


I am in love with Lily Collins. There I said it, secret is out the bag. She is my woman crush, more than that I want to be her, and I definitely want her style. I don't know whether it is just age, general trends, or her recent relationship with Jamie Campbell-Bower but Lily has been upping it in the style stakes. She has gone slighlty vampy, and breaks up dark pieces with leather, texture and crop tops. This girl also knows how to work a good lippy, be it nude, red or deeper vampy shades. And hopefully next time I wake up I will look like, lucious red locks and all. Oh and a pair of those thigh high boots....

 Image Source: (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
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Sunday, 16 March 2014

What I am listening to this Week #17

1. White Violet- First Aid Kit- Emmylou (Cover) My beautiful friend Maddy  (a girl who also loves a good blog) has her own music channel MaddyMajorMusic but combined with the amazing vocals of the equally beautiful Frankie they make up White Violet, who are pretty darn good. Think delicate harmonies and just a gorgeous sound all round, and their cover of Emmylou is so relaxing and wonderful to listen to.
2. Agnes Obel- Riverside This song has recently been on a BBC advert for the TV Drama Shetland, and as soon as I heard the introduction I had to get on Google and find out who's voice it was. Maybe it is because of the advert is for 'Shetland' but it reminds me of childhood days playing in our home on the West Coast of Scotland. It's also my go to song when I am sad, because not only does it remind me of simpler childhood times, but it is a goodun to cry too.
3. Nick Mulvey- Cucurucu A favourite with Radio 1 at the moment, and probably the hardest song title to say and definitley to type. An upbeat Spring/Summer song, that's kinda folky? I am not sure really, Contemporary Folk? Is that even a thing? It's certainly one to listen to on those long summer days anyway (when they finally come...)
4. Ben Harper & Charlie Musselwhite- Get Up You can't get by in my family home if you are not a fan of blues and jazz, so my love of blues and jazz has been pretty ingrained into my system. Charlie Musslewhite, a legend, and combined with the awesome Ben Harper, a modern day blues star, this song is just the right ingredients for a great blues songs, guitar solos, hermonica, smokey voice and all. Oh and the strummin' bass. Don't forget the bass.
5. Martha & The Vandellas- Dancing in the Street One of my favourite songs of all time, and one again that I grew up listening to. Sometimes you just can't beat a bit of Motown...
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Monday, 10 March 2014

Fashion Favourite #1


One women who has not only been taking the acting world, but also the fashion world by storm, is Lupita Nyong'o. Not one to shy away from colour Lupita shows us how red carpet dressing is done. She oozes beauty and elgance wearing everything from Michael Kors, to Prada, to Dior. A personal favourite of mine has to be the beutiful green Dior dress. Strapless, figure hugging then tapering out at the bottom this dress gives off a somewhat sexy yet classy look all at the same time, with the gold accesories providing just the right amount of intrigue and constrast. To me, Lupita injects a bit o fun and a rainbow of colour into the usual LBD, LWD territory. And with her recent Oscar win still looming, Miss Nyongo is one to watch in 2014, in both the style and the acting stakes.

(Image Source: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
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Sunday, 9 March 2014

What I am Listening to this Week #16

1.  Kyla La Grange- Cut Your Teeth I want this women to be my best friend, so cool and collected, the total opposite of me. Her soft somewhat quiet voice lulls and relaxes you with the techno sounds  adding a bit of diversity. Also I love her UV Paint look and pale pink hair.
2. Vinyl Jaket- Safari I've featured a couple of songs from this band recently, who kind of remind me of a cross between 'The 1975' and 'Macabees'. These guys have had a lot of new videos recently with songs Corona and Jupiter
3. Sam Smith- Money on My Mind Man of the moment Sam Smith and his somewhat smoky husky voice are ust about perfect. And I find myself bobbing along in my car sing out loud (and rather tunelessly) to this song everytime it comes on the radio.
4. The Neighbourhood- Sweater Weather This song is perfect for this time of year, as it is, well, sweater weather....But to me it reminds me that better things are coming, be it the sun, holidays or just a new and exciting adventure. And another black and white video to add to the plethora of others that appear to be cropping up lately.
5. LDC Soundsystem- Daft Punk is Playing at my House A little bit more punk rockish, a classic from LDC Soundsytsem, and oh how I wish that Daft Punk would play at my house, helmets and all. 
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Friday, 7 March 2014

International Women's Day 2014



From the days of Suffragetes, to burning bras, women have stood up and fought for equality and their rights. We have come a long way from the days of 'Votes for Women' and 'No Women in the Workplace' but has sexism really died down? Today thousands of women all around the world are subjected to violence, physical or mental abuse, and fear. Inequality still exists, both in the devloping and developed world. In the UK, the pay gap between men and women is widening, and dergoratory behaviour is still exhibited in the work place and out and about. In other parts of the world rape, lack of education and a life of servitude are still apparent in many women's lives, with the likes of the 2012 Delhi Gang Rape and Malala Yousafzai's fight for education being a constant reminder of women's rights.

Feminism is no longer about the burning bras and 'Cat and Mouse Act' that it used to be, it's about limiting the every day sexism that thousands of girls and women are experiencing, be it from a boyfriend, collegue, or stranger. It is about fighting for equality and the self-assurance that comes from knowing you have had the same opportunities as men. The little things we do as individuals can create the ripple needed for change. So I urge you to take a stance, be it on Page 3, Equal Pay or even just helping young girls to achieve their full potential. Cause together we can make a difference.
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Sunday, 2 March 2014

What I am listening to this Week #15

1. American Authors- Best Day of My Life This song is one of those songs that when you wake up listening to it, you are put into a good mood for the rest of the day. It reminds me of summer, going on long walks, dancing and exploring new exciting places with friends. Oh how I long for those long summer days, until then I will just listen to a bit of American Authors.
2. John Butler Trio- Bullet Girl Mmm..this song is as smooth as honey, flows through the brain and wraps itself around you, for some reason I feel so safe and content listening to this song. Not necessarily happy, but safe. I don't think I could ever get tired of it. Also showing the bearded love again!! (I know, I have a beard obsession)
3. Josh Record- Bones Loving the harmonies in this song, especially the really deep voice at the beginning, I am always fascinated when any guy has a super low voice, like how can anyone have a voice that low?
4.  Anthony and the Johnsons- Hope there's Someone This song is just truely beautiful, I know I say that about a lot of songs, and I know I am gonna have to brush up on my music lingo, but, well this song just is! This guys voice has a certain vulnerability and this correspods beautifully with the lyrics of this song.
5. Little Dragon- Klapp Klapp A slightly more upbeat song to finish. I love the somewhat techno beats this songs has, also in the video there is purple fire, how cool is that? Can you even get that in real life?
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