Saturday, 22 February 2014

Quote of the Day- 'I Am'


'I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am.” - Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar.

Today's quote of the day is a little more sombre, but that doesn't make it any less inspiring or beatuiful. I chose this quote today due to a recent 'episode' I had. I have mental health problems, and though I am improving all the time I still suffer from what I refer to as 'episodes'. Sometimes when experiencing these 'episodes' I feel extremely heavy and lifeless. I am unable to move and will lie flat and just blink occasionally. It's made all the worst because I am aware of the people around me talking to me and trying to bring me out of it but I often can't, and just have to wait for it to subside. This paticular time was when visiting my boyfriend, and I was aware of his pleading that if I could hear him to squeeze his hand and as much as I was distressing him I could barely open my eyes, never mind move my limbs. But all the while I kept running this Sylvia Plath quote in my head, listening to my heart beat 'I am, I am' to keep me calm and know that even though I wasn't in control of my body in that moment, or of my feelings and happiness, my heart was still rolling on, beating, helping me be me. I knew I was still real, I was still there, because my heartbeat was telling me I was
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